CH-ch-ch-chaaanges! How to roll with them.
It's been a bit of a wild ride over here for the last couple of months, with holidays, house movings and big big emotions a-plenty. I have just started to feel like my feet are firmly planted, at least for the time being and I'm beginning to find my stride and dare I say...my Mojo...phew.
I've been thinking lots about change recently; about how we handle it and how it effects us. How it both can negatively and positively impact us. As human beings, being good with change is something that has served our species pretty flipping well. Whether it’s our ability to eat whatever food we find around us and digest it or our ability to move with the constantly changing ‘guide-lines’ of the recent Pandemic Period. We’re good with flux, even if we do not always feel like we are.
Largely, it appears that those who thrive or at the very least don't fall to pieces in times of change have a belief system that keeps them grounded. For some it is belief in a higher power (Universe? God? is that you!?) for others it could be Chaos Theory (the old Butterfly in Japan thing) and/or maybe, just possibly, belief in oneself (we call that confidence).
“Confidence is a sense of certainty about your ability, which allows you to bypass conscious thought and execute unconsciously.”
Whatever the belief system is, it's that trust that all will be well that keeps us flowing with the change. Dancing through the fire. Laughing as wave after wave crashes on our heads...I’m not saying either that self-confidence is the best of ONLY belief system one should have. I just think it’s perhaps easier to cultivate confidence in ones own ability than it is for many of us to believe in a power that lives outside of our own realms of control.
So below I have shared my favourite pointers to cultivate some sort of useful belief system to help keep your head above water in those moments when life maybe goes a little (or a lot) off piste...
- Look for Evidence! Remember all the times in the past that life surprised you with a curveball. You may not have experienced some of your favourite parts of life thus far without those little divergencies. You dealt with it then and you can deal with it now.
- Take a confidence audit. This is such a great tool that was inspired by an episode of The Power Hour Podcast with Dr Nate Zinsser (listen here). Spend 5 minutes each day for a week or longer writing 1. An area of progress. 2. An area of sustained, good quality work. 3. An area where you'd like to grow. 4. Examples of overcoming difficulties. In even a short time you'll have many examples of how each of these feed into each other and you'll see how capable you actually are. Yes, you, BABE.
- Go outside! I know this is literally my advice, no matter the issue, but it's a seriously good one. Change is often stressful and nature is really really good for helping us de-stress! Make a point of noticing all the glorious details, take big breaths and take in some far off views. Your nervous system will thank you. Nature has its own very particular timings too, no matter what phase it's in, nature is perfect. Even when its muddy and bleak. You are a part of nature. You are correct even in your wintry phases ;)
- Do something difficult every day. Doesn't need to be big. Just a 30 second cold blast in the shower will do it of a few press-ups or whatever you think is “hard”. Small, regular efforts to overcome difficulty help us build resilience and mroe resilience = higher self confidence. Yup, you can do hard things.
- “Swallow the Frog”. Similar to the above - the term Swallow the Frog First refers to doing the the thing on your To Do list that you are resisting the most, first. Super simple, but you’ll get a hit of feel good chemicals coursing through your body when its done AND that means you’re building resilience and re-writing any narratives that tell you aren’t capable.
